This is really scary and really sad and really exciting all at the same time.
I am not a super nostalgic person. Sure, I get a little sad for the days when I was a semi-decent sax player when I hear jazz music and I occasionally think about the good ol' days in my youth group, but I did not cry at my high school graduation. I didn't cry after it. Heck, I'm pretty sure I didn't cry until my parents moved me into my dorm freshman year.
With that being said, Auburn is my happy place. I love it here. I'm starting to get all "ohmygoodnessthisisthelastfirsttimeiwilleverstandinlinefor30minutesatchickfilaonamondayatnoonduringfallsemester" and such, which is a weird feeling for someone who left high school feeling so joyful.
I'm in this class called "Professional Development and Ethics." It's basically a class designed to help HDFS majors figure out what exactly they want to do with their lives since the major has such a broad range of careers it feeds into. Considering I'm halfway done applying to graduate programs in Audiology, the careers we talk about aren't super applicable to my life. Nonetheless, we have been required to take a bunch of personality tests to learn about ourselves and how we work with others and such in hopes that it will help guide us towards a certain career. I normally don't give personality tests much credit, but I do feel like I've learned a good bit about myself I already knew, but I didn't know...if that makes any sense.
Anyway, these career and personality tests told me that I am a detail-oriented futuristic introvert, all things I already know. The tests have given me a unique perspective on others in my life. I feel like I'm learning a lot about how other people think and process information, and as a super type A person, this type of information is important to know. It also has helped me understand how others react to my personality, which is extremely interesting.
I say all of this to say, as a futuristic detail person, not knowing where my future lies is horribly scary. This type next year, I could be living in Tennessee, Florida, Kentucky...I could even end up back at home if nothing works out with graduate school (let's hope that doesn't happen). I could also be in Auburn for another 4 years. Ask me today where I would like to be, I would tell you Auburn. Ask me tomorrow, I might change my mind.
God is putting me to the test. I know I am stubborn, God knows I am stubborn. He often uses unexpected turns of events to get my attention. This grad school process has been no different. After being thrown a huge curveball and sorting through the application materials for almost every school in the Southeast, I have narrow my options down to 5 programs. I am excited and scared all at the same time. Only 2 of those 5 schools are in Alabama, the state I have lived in my entire life. Maybe it's time for a change, or maybe I will be a lifelong Alabama resident.
God has it figured out. It would be nice for Him to fill me in a little on what it will all look like in just a few months, but I have to trust in the Cornerstone.
19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, 21 in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. 22 In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by[e] the Spirit.
-Ephesians 2: 19-22
Cornerstone - Hillsong United