Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Darkness is a Harsh Term

I was recently given a copy of Mumford & Sons' album "Sigh No More." Yes, I realize I am really late on discovering this, but it's better late than never. I've been listening to it obsessively over the past week, which is saying something, because normally I am listening only to Christmas music at this point in December.
All the songs are excellent, both lyrically and musically. "Roll Away Your Stone" is the song that is currently in the forefront of my mind. I'm tempted to post the lyrics to the entire song because it has such beautiful and thought-provoking lyrics, but I'm sticking to two lines of the song instead.

"Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
Yet it dominates the things I see"

When referring to "darkness," it could mean something completely different from one person to the other. My idea of "darkness" is any sort of struggle, emotion, issue, etc. that clouds around a person and keeps them from seeing past it. Without light, we cannot see in the darkness. Whatever this "darkness" is, it controls what I do and "dominates the things I see."

I let darkness cloud over me far too often. One negative comment towards me, one discouraging tutoring session, or one bad test/paper grade can ruin my entire week. Regardless of all the positive things that may occur right along with this darkness, I don't allow the light in. I know that I'm not alone is this; I would even dare say that this in common with most people, especially college aged. These types of darkness are things I should be able to shake off, and I do after a relatively short period of time.

My current darkness I find myself facing is a kind I don't think is possible to ever truly let go of. Tomorrow (technically today) marks one month since my Pawpaw's death. I have days of light, but the darkness always finds its way back to cloud over me. I know that this is healthy during my mourning, but Mumford has inspired me to try to fight the way it is dominating my sight at this current time.

I know that God does not want me to let the darkness dominate the things I see. I also know that darkness is an unavoidable reality of life. The way I choose to deal with it is what makes the difference.

"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it."
                        -John 1:5

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Growing Apart?

I'm sitting here in my apartment, going through the picture frames and wall of photos that I put up not 5 months ago. I took over 10 pictures out; this removed a few people as permanently from my room as they seem to be removed from my life.

When I put these pictures in my room some 5 months ago, it was after going through and selecting from pictures I put on my senior board and pictures I had recently printed out. I remember feeling this same feeling as I threw aside almost all of the pictures that were on my senior board, realizing most of those people were not a significant part of my life anymore.

This time around, I am way more saddened by the fact that I have lost some people almost completely. The people I lost as I moved to Auburn is to be expected. Growing up, moving to college, growing apart. That's what I've always been told. So how do I justify losing important people that I was friends with last year?

I believed that we were too old to "grow apart." I believed that certain friendships would never go away. I believed that, as college students, we had moved past friendships that were disposable and into friendships that are unbreakable.

I'm not perfect. I'm not saying I'm not to blame for losing some of these people.
I AM searching for real friendships, the unbreakable ones.
I know that I have a few of these and I'm forming quite a few more.

How much truth is in the phrase "growing apart" when you are in your 20's?

I feel that it's the time for us to stop making excuses and start making time for one another. It's time that we stop talking about surface level nonsense and start getting to really understand one another.

"As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend."
                   -Proverbs 27:17