Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Changing of Passion.

This semester, I'm taking music appreciation. The class is something like 75% freshmen. I should have taken it as an underclassman like a normal person, but alas. Penalty for doing my years out of order I guess. 

Anyway, music appreciation classes require concert attendance. My particular class requires us to attend three concerts from faculty members at the university. I have attended to two of those three concerts so far.

I was at the first concert sitting between Brendan and a friend from my freshman year who is a music minor and in the AUMB, which was oddly metaphorical for the two lives I felt like I've lived in Auburn. The concert started and the music absorbed me. 

I haven't touched my saxophone in something like 18 months. I'm concerned I won't remember how to play much less be able to because of my finger. As I sat there in the concert, I contemplated my long lost love for music.

In high school, music and my band was my passion. It was what I looked forward to everyday. Somewhere along the way, I lost that passion and that desire for music. 

Can you really be passionate about something if it one days just disappears?  I'm not sure, but I do know that despite losing my music, I am not passionless. 


I am as busy as I have ever been this semester. If I'm not in class, at work, or studying, I am observing in clinic. I miss having a life, but this is the life of CMDS seniors, apparently. 

As much as I wish I had time to breathe and relax, I love what I'm doing. Everyday, I learn something new about what I'll be doing for the rest of my life. 
I am passionate about my major and my future career. The way I once felt about playing my saxophone is what I now feel when I'm thinking about therapy appointments or practicing skills for my clinical audiology class. As graduate school approaches and as my decision between speech and hearing becomes more clear, I get more nervous but more excited everyday.
Most people aren't lucky enough to say that they love their major and I am very blesses to be one of the few. 


Even though I may not love music as I once did, I asked my mom to bring my saxophone down to Auburn. It is currently in my apartment and ready to be played. We'll see how it goes. 

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